Originally posted Sept 20, 2004.



During the day, Zack and this almond butter and banana sandwich have the run of the city. But at night, they have to take shelter to avoid the raccoons who have been surrounding the compound in greater and greater numbers.

The raccoons' leader is a pompous, Luddite windbag named Mathias. He and the raccoon mob sit in the trees and chatter.



MATHIAS: Sandwich! Sandwich! Show yourself to us, sandwich!

SANDWICH: [drinking Scotch, speaking to Zack] What say you and I play a game of chess? Ah, you'd probably win again.

Zack does not answer because he is a dog and dogs can't speak.

SANDWICH: [again, to Zack] What's that? Cards? I haven't played cards in years. I reckon you'd have a tough time holding them in your paws ...

MATHIAS: Sandwich! We know that you are in there! Why don't you show yourself?

SANDWICH: [smashes the glass, clenches his fists] Dammit! Will they ever shut up?

MATHIAS: Sandwich! You are the last of your kind. It is time for you to renounce the religion of the machine and join us. I promise that the pain will be short ...

SANDWICH: [to Zack] How long? How long has it been since I last spoke to another sandwich? How long?

Anyhow, not to give away the ending or anything, but that sandwich is a modern-day Jesus Christ sandwich and he will sacrifice himself to save sandwich-kind.

The end.

1:46 AM , # , |

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