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Friday, June 11, 2004
Double Doggin'

Lexie came to visit Zack for the week, so we've been in duo-dog-mode. As you can see, they're both good-sized dogs and I don't care how gay or metrosexual you are, there's just no excuse for a jittering, yapping micro-dog.
In her head, Storm has somehow equated a love of small dogs with being sensitive:
I mean, how big a leap is it from little dog-loving to increased sensitivity? I may be wildly extrapolating from an unscientific sample, but look around you  this is happening. And the complex emotions these guys are learning as they heap lashings of love on their tiny canines, bodes well for the future.
Bodes well for the future? Geeeessshhhh ...
Myself, I equate a love of small dogs with being somewhat neurotic -- maybe psychotic. On a superficial level, they shake constantly and they're tiny. You can't play or wrestle or have much active fun with a micro-dog (there are exceptions; Jack Russells, for instance, are strong and energetic). On a more substantial level, mini-pooches are nervous, high-strung and yappy. The emotional connection expected from a mini-pooch is intense co-dependence, opposed to larger breeds who are mellower and have healthier emotional expectations. You seldom (almost never in my case) see these small dogs at the dog park because they're generally anti-social, preferring the close one-on-one interaction with their owner to any broader socializing.
But Storm sees this as a step towards a more-evolved male:
What if they started to love cuddling and consoling, being patient and caring about our little aches and pains, comforting our fears? What if they started listening when we called them to come? IÂll tell you what  the rewards would be better than a biscuit.
Ok, read that sentence and visualize Storm's ideal man. Now scroll up and look at the picture of my dogs. Now, read this: I was at Woofstock last weekend and there were lots of tiny dogs around. Women had them inside their coats and in handbags, etc. One dog we spotting was a tiny, little black dog with no fur -- it was completely BALD and looked like a little greasy insect with its spindly, stick-like legs and bulging black eyes. That thing is going to help mold the man Storm wants?
If you're a woman and you meet a guy and it turns out that he owns a need little dog, that's a sign to RUN and don't look back. His cuddling and consoling and patience and caring might seem refreshing at first, but without boundaries those emotions become a claustrophobia-inducing nightmare. Find a guy with a big dog; strong, reliable, stoic and ... most important ... calm.
10:51 AM
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