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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Happy Canada Day!!!

35, that's the age when things start to stop working. What's with this dry skin? My skin is always dry. I have cracked callouses on my feet. It's disgusting, I hate it. I hurt my shoulder a few weeks ago. The pain receded but didn't go away completely. I want to go to the doctor about it but I was just at the doctor about another thing and if I go again so soon he's going to think I'm a hypchondriac. And I'm worried that I might actually be a hypchondriac. If I'm not a hypochondriac but think I am one, what does that make me?

My face. This is the year that my face is finally starting to come apart. I have a destroyed face. I always have a sort of stunned, sad look on my face now. It gets swollen and my eyes always look like they're about to cry. I can't smile properly anymore.

I wish the last of the hair would just fall out so that I could be properly bald. That fuzz on the top of my head looks so sloppy. I shaved my head and people complained; I grow my hair and it looks like crap. No winning. It's all grey so I coloured it. I was at the festival office one afternoon and a woman said to me, "There's something different about your hair."

And I said, "Yeah, it's grown in. Last time you saw it, it was just stubble. Now that it's longer, it's filed in."

She gave me a look and murmured in a way that suggested that she didn't believe me. She knows that I coloured it. And it doesn't even matter because I'm just going to get it shaved again next week.

I once read this article in eye and the guy who wrote it was complaining about turning 26 and how much his body had started to fail him at that point. What an idiot. Even I don't have his complaints yet, but let me warn you, 35 is the turning point. Remember when Rimmer borrowed Lister's body and then complained about all the pain Lister had never mentioned? That's reaction the 20-yr-old me would have if he was transported directly into this body.

35 is the mid-point between 20 and 50.

I had a lot of sex the summer I turned 20, now I don't have any sex. Won't it be funny if I'm having sex again when I'm 50? Although I can't imagine wanting to touch anyone when I'm 50. How could you even enjoy it through all the aches and pain at that age? Imagine how dry my skin will be then. Everything will be cracked and peeling more than it is now. It's disgusting.

I have plans, things I have to do to get ready for 50. Dress better is one thing. I've already started that. I think one of the few ways you can challenge the indignities of aging is with some decent clothes. People drop wads on cosmetic surgery and other fixes that only make them look freakish when all they really need is a good suit.

The summer I was 19, one evening I went with a girl I liked to a remote spot on a bluff overlooking Lake Erie and we ate pizza together. I can't imagine ever feeling that light and innocent and so free of discomfort ever again.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!
 

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