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Friday, June 25, 2004
I, Fitness Class Beer Night Organizer
We added an extra fitness class beer night to the schedule last night because one of the women in our class is moving and we had to give her a send-off. It's been a whole year since I initiated the beer nights as part of a program I started for myself a few years ago to try and make myself a 'kinder, friendlier person'.
See, the first two years I went to my gym I didn't talk to a single person that I didn't already know until a women came up and struck up a conversation with me one Saturday afternoon. After mulling it over and talking with some friends, it became clear that I could put a little effort into being a "warmer" person.
I'm both shy and introverted, so the changes needed to be incremental.
The first phase of the program was simply acknowledging people I recognize at fitness class with either a nod or saying 'hello'. That was a really long phase, I think it went on for 6 months or 8 months ... a long time. The second phase involved making friendly small-talk and it took another large chunk of time to accomplish that. Then longer conversations, then I actually invited some people from fitness class to parties and eventually the monthly beer nights were a logical extension of the program.
Am I a friendlier, kinder person? I am "warmer"? Well, no. But I did stretch myself and made a bunch of oddball friends in the process.
This is the sort of stuff doc director Alan Zweig struggles with in his personal documentary, I, Curmudgeon. It mixes interviews with a bunch of celebrity and non-celebrity curmudgeons with personal narration by Zweig as he ponders his status as a curmudgeon and wonders if there isn't some way to change and not be so negative.
Sometimes his strategies are as practical as my program such as when he considers how to respond to people when they say, "How are you doing?" Even though it's difficult for him, he decides that he'll always provide a positive response, no matter how he's feeling. Introverts prefer sincerity in their interactions and it's difficult for us to remember that the standard greeting is all form and no content. Like dogs when they sniff each other's butts.
Lucky for him, Zweig seems to have committed himself to our fitness class, so maybe he'll get on the program. I actually borrowed the tape and watched it just in case he ever shows up at beer night and I have to talk to him. See? Program at work. The thing about the program is this: it didn't change who I am but it did help me make the best use of what I've got to work with.
It's a really good doc and is set to air on TVO in the fall, so be sure to catch it. The sight of Rick McGinnis' beard may not be appropriate for small children and sensitive viewers.
btw, speaking of fitness class, HardCoreLogo was on City tonight and features Julian from our fitness class as Bucky Haight. I'm sure there's a fitness class out there, somewhere filled with the cultural elite ... we're the cultural dregs!
oh, and one more thing! Remember, dogs save lives! Although I'm sure big dogs save more lives than small dogs.
12:55 AM
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