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Saturday, September 11, 2004

Adventures in Internet Dating

Oh, I don't know if what I did was really so bad. I understand that when you're dating, you're putting yourself out there and it makes you feel vulnerable ... but, hey, I'm doing it too! I also understand that humour doesn't travel well over the internet (poop and boobie jokes being the exceptions). But you're going to have to make up you own mind:

So this Lavalife thing is kinda freaking me out. I got a "smile" tonight from someone who left a message that said "ha ha ha bloggers are geeks". Right. Since I've been very careful to keep anonymous on LL, that's a bit weird. The dumb thing is that I thought I was being all assertive by sending this dude the "smile" first, but now I want nothing to do with that guy. Never mind first impressions, my second one is to Quietly Walk Away.

As you can see, today's post is an exception to my very strict "Do Not Blog About Internet Dating" rule, but I figure it's fine because it's already out there and it's the weekend, so nobody is going to read it anyway.

What happened is pretty much what's described above. I received a "smile" (internet dating sites have various ways of expressing interest - winks, blinks, smiles, grimaces -- before you spend $$$ to contact someone) and I soon as I saw the picture profile, I recognized the face as not just a blogger, but a blogger who had just commented on the same thread as me over at ATC. So I just assumed that she knew who I was and I messaged, "Ha ha - bloggers are geeks!" You know, keeping it light and fun ... after all, it does say on my profile, "... and don't take myself all that seriously."

Which isnt even entirely true, I try to not take myself all that seriously, I don't always succeed.

Turns out it was just a random blog-net dating intersection. Which, to me, is even more interesting because I love small-world, six degrees of separation-type nonsense. Especially in this case, when there are pretty much zero degrees of separation.

...

I'm a week into the internet dating and it's not what I expected. The last time I did the online dating, I didn't received a single response or expression of interest for an entire year. Then, I tried an experiment and posted my salary range and received four responses over a stretch of five or six months. And that was annoying, because I consider money stuff to be very private (btw, on the BLC: Jakobek) and having your salary range posted on the internet is crude and nobody's business at the casual dating stage.

The internet dating culture must have evolved over the past two years, because this time I've had more than thirty responses in the space of a week, which is chicken scratch compared to what some people get, but a big improvement for me.

My only peeve is people who respond to your ad without a picture ... because they have pictures, they're just keeping them hidden, hoping that you'll be attracted to the "inner beauty" of their profile and won't judge them harshly when you eventually see their pic. And it's interesting that so many people try it because I will bet you a shiny loonie that the tactic never works. And say that, against the astronomical odds, it did work. What you'd end up with is a relationship that, at its very core, is based on a deception. I tend to think that you set the tone of a relationship right at the start (yeah, yeah, yeah .. contradiction noted) and if you have a relationship based on trickery, that's going to be a continuing current.

Unless you're an A-list celebrity with good reason to keep your identity hidden, if you have a pic it should be posted. The rest of us are putting it out there and taking our lumps, there is no excuse for cheating.

Anyhow, I think we learned some important lessons here today and the biggest lesson remains: BLOGGERS ARE GEEKS!
 

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