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Friday, September 10, 2004
The Plan
The Jedi Knight, Scooby Kenobi, is helping solve the Phil Collins problem.
KENOBI: I've been waiting for this moment for all of my life. It's the moment I was born for!
BLAMB: You've got a plan to deal with the Phil Collins? Does it involve someone named Gramm?
KENOBI: Lou Gramm? I love the Lost Boys! I dressed like a vampire for a whole year after I saw that movie!
BLAMB: Uh, I don't think it's ...
KENOBI: No, the situation is very delicate and there's only one way to sterilize the infestation.
BLAMB: Are you gonna use your light sabers?
KENOBI: No, better: The Peter Gabriel Neutron Bomb.
BLAMB: Really?
KENOBI: It uses purified, Genesis-era Peter Gabriel and will only harm Phil Collins; the surrounding infrastructure will be left intact!
HIVE: KENOBI! You have returned!
KENOBI: Returned to face you. [shows bomb]
HIVE: What is that?
KENOBI: It's the thing that's going to send you straight to hell! [turns to Blamb] You'd better run, brother ...
BLAMB: Ok, just don't mess up the blogroll on the sidebar when you're ...
KENOBI: RUN!!!!
BLAMB: Ok. [runs away]
KENOBI: It's just you and me, Collins.
HIVE: Wait, listen to this:
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all
KENOBI: [teary] Sob. You just reminded me of the girlfriend I had in grade 6. I miss her so.
HIVE: Listen, Kenobi, maybe you and I could join forces?
KENOBI: I'll never join you!
HIVE: But Kenobi ...
You could've come over to my side
You could've let me know
You could've tried to see the difference between us
But it seemed too far for you to go.
KENOBI: Must resist ...
HIVE: Must you?
Please give me one more night, give me one more night
One more night cos I can't wait forever
Give me just one more night, oh just one more night
Oh one more night cos I can't wait forever
KENOBI: [crying] Who am I kidding? I LOVE YOU, PHIL COLLINS!
Suddenly, a mic stand is thrown at Kenobi and bonks him on the head.
KENOBI: Ow! [heavy bleeding]
HIVE: Ha ha ha!
KENOBI: I am killed!
HIVE: You fool, only at the end do you understand.
KENOBI: [reaches for bomb] The end of you! [flips trigger]
HIVE: CRAP ....
9:40 AM
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