|
About
happycreature[at]gmail[dot[com]
[ BLAMBLOG ]
Ed Locke's Grandpa
Happy Creature
Ms. Johnson
PIX
[ PILOTS! ]
Bill Doskoch
72hrchik
BlogTO
Dead Robot
estrojenn
Finn's Space
John Gushue
Rick Mercer
Rocketboom
Simple Splendor
Squiddity
Confessions of a Monkey
[ A-TEAM ]
AllThingsChristie & BWE
Circadian Shift
Daily Dose
Davezilla
Dooce
Jett Superior
Kitty Bukkake
Sugarmama
Tony Pierce
[ TORONTO ROCKS ]
Accordian Guy
Alan Hunt
Andrew Spicer
Angie McKaig
armchair garbageman
Bacon and Eh's
Bored Astronaut
Cellar Dweller
Chip Tijuana
Chromewaves
Clara*
Consolation Champs
Biker Chick
Dave Howard
Day in the Life
Digifox
Easternblog
freckle stof
Help!
Ice Queen
indigoblog
JBWarehouse
Liz Vang
Luminescent
Lunerose
Maria
Marmalade
moot point
Nug
Photojunkie
Pony
Pshaw
Radio Weisblogg
Raymi
Riri's Braindump
RobotJohnny
Rusty Robot
Sally McKay
Sarah Pengelly
Secret Storm
ShanghaiM
Ultrablog
United Bingdom
wainbows
Warren Kinsella
Zoilus
[ ALL IN THE FAMILY ]
Merv!
Dad!
Gillian
Kevin!
[ ORGANIZIZED ]
GTA Bloggers
TorontoComic Jam
[ BEACHCOMBERS ]
Good, Matthew
Good, Jennifer
Ian King
Jeff Merritt
[ GOTHAM CITY ]
Explanada
Lindsayism
My Blog is Poop
Yoon!
[ ST. ELSEWHERE ]
Blogebrity
blogumentary
Brett Lamb: Oz
Bunny McIntosh
Dust My Broom
elanamatic
Go Fug Yourself
Grrrl Meets World
James Bow
Little Lioness
SKSmith
Shelly
Skillzy
Tom Tomorrow
[ 6 O'CLOCK NEWS ]
boing boing
Cursor
Drawn!
Fark
Garlicster
Metafilter
Plastic
The Register
SciFi Daily
Sexblogs
Slashdot
Space.com
The Smoking Gun
Zeropaid
[ CARTOONS ]
Corrigan
Children
of the Atom
Fiona Smyth
Maakies
MacKay
MNFTIU.cc
Secret Lair
Smell of Steve
[ VARIETY HOUR ]
B3TA
Hoogerbrugge
Milk & Cookies
Mumbleboy
Onion
Rathergood
XE
[ RERUNS ]
[ 2005 ]
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
MARCH
APRIL
MAY
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
[ 2004 ]
MAY
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
[ 2002 ]
[ 2003 ]
|
Saturday, October 30, 2004
DALE ROGERS MEMORIAL: 2069 A.D.
A large crowd gathered in a flower-filled meadow. It was a bright, sunny spring morning. Dignitaries walked to a makeshift stage, set up in front of the statue of a giant tooth covered with inscriptions: lists of names. Another large object stood covered under a sheet. The Master of Ceremonies, a young man, walked to the podium.
MC: Welcome, everyone. There will be a reception with snacks and beverages after the service.
Feedback blew from the speakers. The MC waited for it to settle and continued.
MC: Each year at this time, we gather to remember and celebrate the lives of those who fought and died in the Battle of Dale Rogers' Teeth, one of the most important, landmark military engagements in history. Without the sacrifices of those who fought that battle, history as we know it would not exist.
OLD WOMAN: [muttering under her breath] Bah. History. Who's to say that another history would be any better or any worse than this one?
MC: In late 2004, the most popular blog in the world, The Accordian Guy, was infested by the famous singer, Dale Rogers. The former Soviet Union sent troops from the year 1954 into Rogers in a vicious attempt destroy not only America and our freedom, but the world and time itself.
OLD WOMAN: [bitter whisper] Pfft! Lies.
MC: Lord Admiral Accordian Guy led a small band of rebel freedom fighters into the singer in an attempt to destroy the Soviets. After a fantastic journey through the body, they made the incredible voyage right through Rogers' heart and emerged on the battlefied!
OLD WOMAN: All wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong.
MC: The Soviets were opposed by American forces sent in to defeat them by American Emperor Reagan. But it was a tough fight and both sides faced heavy losses. In the end, it was the the work of the remarkable Dr. Chipsylanti Tiajuana and a strange, supernatural being called The Ice Queen who saved the day and turned the battle in favour of the US forces!
OLD WOMAN: Bunk!
MC: Today in this sacred spot where the dead are honoured, we unveil a new statue to commemorate the heroes of The Battle of Dale Rogers' Teeth ...
The curtain fell away. There was a statue of Dr. Chip and The Ice Queen underneath it. Both stood together, looking noble and staring up at the bright, blue sky.
MC: I give you Dr. Chip and The Ice Queen.
OLD WOMAN: Abomination!
People in the audience were starting to stare at the old woman. She sat with her arms crossed and glared.
Later, at the reception, the MC introduced one of the dignitaries to a local business owner.
MC: Clark here runs a popular restuarant. Sir, I'd like you to meet Samuel L. Tiajuana. He's the grandson of Dr. Chip and the donor who generously supported this memorial.
SAM: I'm sure my grandfather would have been proud to have been here today.
MC: He was one of the few survivors of the battle.
SAM: He was, and that's why his story is still celebrated today. There are very few accounts of what happened at that battle. Of course we know that history was saved ... but scholars still argue over the facts.
MC: I think all of us here agree that your grandfather was a genuine hero! And both you and your father have led distinguished careers that only offer further demonstrate what a great man he was.
The Old Woman was standing nearby, listening to the conversation. She started to walk over ...
Twin girls ran up to Sam Tiajuana and hugged him.
TWINS: Daddy! Daddy! Can we have some pop?
Sam lifted them up in his arms and smiled.
SAM: Of course you can. Let's get go together!
They walked off towards the refreshments table. The old woman stopped. She shook her head and left.
1:50 PM
, # ,
|
|
|
