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Friday, October 29, 2004

KENNY ROGERS: Insertion +10:19:48

We entered a fast-moving vein and made good time towards the heart.

I read up on our quarry, the EAGLE. None of it made sense. Before joining the military, he was accomplished in his field, on top of the world, practically a superstar. Then, one day he gave it all up and enlisted. He was over 40 when he did basic training. He rose through the ranks and made Major. That was when they sent him to fight inside Kenny Rogers.

And something changed him.

I browsed diary entries and reports, trying to figure out why he decided to go off and fight the war his way, somewhere in these files there had to be an answer ...

ULTRA-BABY: [via telepathy] Turn on the radio, you should be receiving a signal.

We turned on the radio and sure enough, there was a signal coming from a Union Army camp just ahead of us. It was garbled.

CAPTAIN CHRISTIE: We need fuel.

LT. ARMCHAIR: It will take us off-course.

ADMIRAL BLAMB: I think we should check it out. Why would there be a base up here?

JEN: There are small outposts scattered throughout the torso to keep the supply lines open between the limbs. The Confederates control most of the torso ... but they don't own it.

ADMIRAL BLAMB: Ok, let's go look.

We slowed. Ahead of us was a camp. It was dark and spotlights swept back and forth, madly. The vein was clogged here and soldiers were frantically trying to unclog it. Weapons fire was going off all around. We could hear shouting and screaming and moaning ... and hysterical laughter.

We docked and went to find the CO. Armchair and the Captain went to get supplies.

I found a solider who looked like he might be in charge ... of something.

SOLDIER: Every day the Confederates send a wad of lard up the vein to clog it, and every night we clean it out!

BLAMB: Who's in charge here?

SOLDIER: Look at that. Can you seen it? They really plugged it up this time!

BLAMB: Who is your commanding officer?

SOLDIER: The CO? Nelson? No, Johnson ...

A shell exploded close to us. The soldier started shaking.

BLAMB: We're going up river, closer to the heart. Do you know the safest way up there?

SOLDIER: Stick the the veins, man. Go fast, don't stop. Whatever you do, don't stop!

A motar fell on a bunker and exploded. There were screams and machine gun fire.

SOLDIER: [shaking] Can you take me with you?

I went back to the sub. Meanwhile, the Captain was trying to secure fuel.

CHRISTIE: I need a few drums of deisel.

SUPPLY CLERK: [shell-shocked, hyper-ventilating] Oh! Oh! No problem ....

He grabbed a clipboard, his hands were quaking.

SUPPLY CLERK: So, who's your little friend, there?

CHRISTIE: [looks around to make sure no one is watching, then whsipers] That's Dave.

SUPPLY CLERK: Hey Dave, how's it goin', man?

CHRISTIE: He doesn't say much, he's a turtle.

There was an explosion. The clerk shrieked. The team working on the vein had cleared a small hole and the blood slowly began to flow.

SUPPLY CLERK: Turtles are cool. They're always at home. Ha ha ... ha heh .... uh ... er ... little joke. Sorry, Dave.

We met back at the sub.

CHRISTIE: Ok, we've got enough fuel to get us the rest of the way. Let's get out of here, this place is nuts.

LT. ARMCHAIR: Did you find the CO?

BLAMB: There's no CO.
 

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