Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog



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Fark Garlicster Metafilter Plastic The Register SciFi Daily Sexblogs Slashdot Space.com The Smoking Gun Zeropaid [ CARTOONS ] Corrigan Children of the Atom Fiona Smyth Maakies MacKay MNFTIU.cc Secret Lair Smell of Steve [ VARIETY HOUR ] B3TA Hoogerbrugge Milk & Cookies Mumbleboy Onion Rathergood XE [ RERUNS ] [ 2005 ] JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST [ 2004 ] MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER [ 2002 ] [ 2003 ]	Monday, October 25, 2004 KENNY ROGERS: SPECIAL EDITION DVD What follows is the director's commentary that accompanies the "Submarine Battle Sequence" on the special edition DVD of Assault on Kenny Rogers: Enter Terror Redux. REGIS: This scene we're seeing now, this is the big sub battle. And I understand that it is the largest sub battle ever mounted on a blog! THAT'S AMAZING! BLAMB: [dry, pompous, full-of-himself] That's right, Reg. This is the centrepiece of the story and it really needed to pop. REGIS: And it's all written out on a blog on a computer? BLAMB: Yes, people can read it on the internet. REGIS: Isn't it AMAZING what they can do with computers these days? BLAMB: Yes. REGIS: OH! That's nice. How did you do all of the underwater stuff? BLAMB: For this we used the same reactor towers they used to film the underwater scenes in The Abyss. REGIS: And there's the plucky captain driving the submarine! What a character! Tell me about her. BLAMB: We cast Heather Thurman in the role of Captain Christie. Heather is a good friend. REGIS: How did you meet her? BLAMB: We met in Salem during the Witch Trials. The Time Tube accidentally stranded me in 1692. I lived in a shack and my only form of entertainment was an old Atari 2600 powered by a car battery. I got sloppy and one day the locals found it. REGIS: I bet they thought you were worshipping demons! BLAMB: They did and I was tried and sentenced to burn at the stake. In a sheer coincidence, Heather was in town doing research for a paper on the Salem Witch Trials for a Women's Studies course and saw me being burned. That was contaminating the timeline so she went back to the point at which I'd been stranded and rescued me. REGIS: AMAZING! BLAMB: Of course, I don't remember any of that because it never happened. But we've been good friends ever since. She's a genius. REGIS: And the Captain has a friend who is an imaginary turtle. Can you believe it? BLAMB: The thing about turtles is, they may be slow but they win the race. Imaginary ones win imaginary races. REGIS: You know, that's what I always tell the young people! I say, "HEY, BE THE TURTLE, YOUNG PEOPLE!" BLAMB: Yes. REGIS: OH! The submarine just got hit by a torpedo! BLAMB: Yes. REGIS: There's water pouring into the sub and the Robot is drowning! Dr. Chip is saving him! Up to this point, we'd been led to believe that Dr. Chip was a very bad guy. BLAMB: [still acting like a blowhard] Dr. Chip is an amazing character. Very complex. Many layers. We cast Chad Jorgenson, a good friend, in that role. The character of Dr. Chip has all of the best lines, but Chad really sells them with his performance. He's a genius. REGIS: AND HE SAVES THE ROBOT! AMAZING! BLAMB: We had that robot specially built. REGIS: Now we're seeing the Confederate soldiers being slaughtered and it is BRUTAL! A brutal, brutal scene! Why is this scene accompanied by that techno music that all the kids are listening to? BLAMB: Well, I wanted to make a statement linking the banality of techno music to the banality of evil. It's a statement. Techno was Hitler's favourite music, you know. REGIS: Interesting! I did not know that! BLAMB: Yes. REGIS: Now, in this scene the Confederate soldiers are being bombed ... with POOP! Why are they being bombed with poop? BLAMB: I was trying to draw a parallel between the way war consumes people and the way people consume food. See, war takes people ... and it consumes them. You and I take food, and we consume it. In this story, the Confederates represent the consuming force of war. REGIS: The Confederates really are history's greatest villans, aren't they? BLAMB: They sure were, Regis. REGIS: Now, some of the subs have landed and the Colonel is forcing Dr. Chip to go surfing in an artery! THAT'S AMAZING! BLAMB: I just want to mention that Lori Melner, who plays Brenda, is a good friend. REGIS: Would you pass the chips? BLAMB: Sure, here. Lori's also a genius. REGIS: Your character looks unhappy now. BLAMB: Well, he still has to find the nebulous 'EAGLE' character and he has doubts about the mission. REGIS: And the Colonel is now getting some bad news as well! BLAMB: Yes, they've lost contact with their outpost. All they know is that the outpost was attacked and that the last communication mentions squid. REGIS: So, it's very, very bad news for the Colonel! BLAMB: I'm sure it's bad news for everybody. REGIS: And that was the sub battle. FANTASTIC! Simply an amazing scene! BLAMB: Now, this next scene requried a lot of ... 6:43 PM , # , \|