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Monday, November 22, 2004
Elf is About to Die
You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.
- that punk guy from Square Pegs to TJ Hooker in Star Trek II: The Sequel to Some Other Movie
 Obviously, how you answered the question on the last post reveals more about your attitude towards life than death, eh?
Dave's answer was interesting because he described his fantasy reaction and a harsher reality:
Interesting you should ask that question... Well first I would actually try to be happy. Wouldn't bother with a relationship because it would be too short and hard to give up. Maybe travel around Europe, ancient sites elsewhere. Tell everyone I know the truth about what I think of them - hurt feelings be damned. Hunt down my childhood tormentors and visit upon them a pain which would be biblical/medieval (whichever I feel like for that day) in nature. Own a kitten, maybe a puppy.
In reality, I would probably be very depressed about dying, probably try to have a relationship only to fail in it because of depression, I'd probably want to be alone most of the time. I guess that's why we never know when our days will end.
I'm not sure why a relationship would be hard to give up, you're just gonna die. How much work is that? NONE! I think falling in love would be on my list of things to do, not in a sappy, sentimental way but like the last scene of the Don McKellar flick, Last Night, when the characters relinquish their desire for control at the last second and accept the inevitable.
Storm would tell people the truth:
I'd tell all the people I know the truth about how I feel about them - only in my version it'd be all squidgy and nice. (I'm much more apt to hide my lovey-dovey feelings... I couldn't be bothered about the evil wretches. I have a handy list for God to refer to if He so chooses...)
I would eat everything fried.
I would take the dog with me... she's kind of old and stringy anyway and I'll need a companion in the afterlife.
I'd have to tell people how much I appreciate them, too, since I find it much easier to grouse ... and in three months, I wouldn't have time to deal with dead wood people.
Eva had a bunch of things to do:
That's easy! I would quit grad school IMMEDIATELY (I could never finish it in three months anyway!), and I would use the rest of my money to visit ALL my family (including extended) and friends ALL OVER THE WORLD.
And I'd write a book! Really fast! I'll just bring the laptop on my trip, and make sure someone determined and reliable will make sure it gets published!
I'd probably also play a lot of Sims2, while I'm waiting at airports with my laptop and bored with writing my book! OH! I'd also buy a GOOD camera and take lots of pictures! And I'd send all my friends handwritten letters!
And I'd stop typing with exclamation marks after every sentence!
Wait, what's the book about?
Christie is gonna go down swingin':
1) Hack the planet
2) Get away with it
3) travel the world (thanks to the money I stole from tonnes of horrible people...ya know, kinda like Robin Hood...stealing from the rich and evil only instead of giving it to other people, I'd just keep it for myself.)
4) Go on National TV and tell people what I think of them.
5) Find Paris Hilton - Punch her in the face
6) Wire stolen money to some tropical island and ship my parents to live off of the money I 'made'.
7) Find Angelina Jolie, tell her I have only 3 months to live and have the greatest sex in my entire life.
 Buy a pony (...i shouldn't have to explain this one)
9) Eat only chocolate for one whole week. (Milk/water/fruit allowed) Followed by one week of only junk food (candy/fast food/ anything of pastry form)
10) Give all the money and posessions I have left to my good friends.
Wait, explain the pony?
Speaking of chocolate, here in The Land of Chocolate, this afternoon the chocolate factory was venting drive plasma and the whole neighbourhood smelled like rich, warm chocolate. I got a cavity just from breathing.
Maria isn't sure what's she'd do:
I've been thinking about this and the only thing I can come up with is quit my job. Maybe go to The North with my savings, since I'll have no income after quitting my job.
Maria, you're going to be DEAD and you're worried about not having an income? Run up a credit card or eight!
Ice Queen wouldn't change a thing:
I'd buy outfits, wear them once and throw them away.
I'd definitely eat crap. And drink enough to be not quite hungover. And dance. And sing. And make a fool of myself in public. I wouldn't be nice to people I don't respect. I take taxis if I felt like it. I'd wear my tiara or costumes whenever I felt like it.
Yep. I wouldn't change a thing about how I live. Except I'd travel. But I couldn't afford it, so never mind. Oh, but I'd make a killer mixed CD to be played at my funeral/wake. Oh - and I'd plan my wake to make sure it was fun and an accurate reflection of my sensibilities. Or lack thereof.
That's a good rule of thumb: always plan your wake, 'cause if you don't some idiot is gonna do it for you.
Dallas had the last word:
Hunt down and kill a couple dozen evil people.
Run up my Visa card and have wild sex with a few pros.
Accept Jesus as my Saviour and ask for forgiveness, just in case.
With three months left, I'd do what I've had planned since the third grade: I'd get myself the biggest, most-loaded RV and go on a wild road trip with Zack and anyone else who wanted to tag along. Actually, in grade 3 that was what I planned to do when the Apocalypse arrived, but I updated it to 'personal apocalypse' in later years.
Where? Who cares! We'd just get on the road and see where it led. When I was in high school, at this time of year my friends and I used to hop in the car, drive out into the dark country night with a bunch of 50s music tapes and sing along and see where we wound up and who we'd meet ... which was never where we expected to wind up.
Tomorrow: Death Week continues!
7:14 PM
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