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Friday, November 19, 2004

This Date in History

Matt, Coffee Guy #1, wrapped up his latest play and is working at the Duff on Saturdays again, so drop and and give him a shout. Here's an encore presentation of ....

Patrick Swayze Visits the Coffee Guys (Nov 19, 2002)

PATRICK: Hey man, wake up!

BLAMB: [snore]

PATRICK: WAKE UP!

BLAMB: Huh, wha? Paige Davis?

PATRICK: The day has begun! It's time to get moving!

BLAMB: Moving ...



PATRICK: You know what you need?

BLAMB: Need ...

PATRICK: A trip to The Coffee Guys!

BLAMB: Coffee ...

PATRICK: Let's go!

We walk to the mall. Most of the snow has melted. It's comfortably cool.



PATRICK: Hey, Coffee Guy #1! How's it going?

COFFEE GUY #1: Great! Good to see you, ol' buddy.

PATRICK: Brett is a grumpy doughboy in the morning; set him up with a big cup 'o joe!

COFFEE GUY #1: No problem! One for yourself?

PATRICK: Oh yeah! Hey, where's you good friend? Coffee Guy #2?

COFFEE GUY #1: Shawn? He's right over there. Hey, Shawn, looks who's here! It's Patrick!



COFFEE GUY #2: Hey, hey.

PATRICK: How are you doing?

COFFEE GUY #2: Want to see my Brando impression?

COFFEE GUY #1: You can't do Brando!

COFFEE GUY #2: What? See Patrick, this guy thinks Brando is all in the voice...

COFFEE GUY #1: ... and someday, I will come to you and ask for a favour ....

COFFEE GUY #2: See? It's not just the voice, it's the whole ...

SECURITY MAN: HEY! WE DON'T SERVE YOUR KIND IN HERE!!!

BLAMB: Wha? Huh? I'm sorry, I'll leave.

SECURITY MAN: Not you. Your sandwich.

PATRICK: Me?

SECURITY MAN: NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINKS.

COFFEE GUYS: That's crazy! What kind of rule is that?

SECURITY MAN: NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR ....

PATRICK: But don't you recognize me? I'm Patrick Swayze, the Tahini & Banana Sandwich! The happiest, flippinest, grooviest, coolest ...

SECURITY MAN: No outside food or drinks. NOW GET OUT!

COFFEE GUYS: Can't you make an exception?

SECURITY MAN: NO EXCEPTIONS!

COFFEE GUYS: Why not?

SECURITY MAN: Because ... because my heart is cold and empty.

PATRICK: Really?

SECURITY MAN: I have no soul.

PATRICK: Aw, everybody has a soul! Even you!

SECURITY MAN: Really?

PATRICK: Sure thing, buddy! Here, have a taste!

SECURITY MAN: I couldn't ...

PATRICK: Go ahead, friend!

SECURITY MAN: Well.... [chomp] ... oh my ...

PATRICK: How do you feel?

SECURITY MAN: It's like the fluffy clouds of Heaven have come to Earth and decided to reside in my mouth. I feel ... young, like when the world was new.

PATRICK: Great!

SECURITY MAN: That's it! Patrick Swayze, I hereby make you an honourary security deputy of the Dufferin Mall!

COFFEE GUYS: YAY!!!

SECURITY MAN: Thank you, Patrick! And thank you, Coffee Guys!

BLAMB: ZzzzzzzZZzzzzzzz ....
 

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