Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog



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Fark Garlicster Metafilter Plastic The Register SciFi Daily Sexblogs Slashdot Space.com The Smoking Gun Zeropaid [ CARTOONS ] Corrigan Children of the Atom Fiona Smyth Maakies MacKay MNFTIU.cc Secret Lair Smell of Steve [ VARIETY HOUR ] B3TA Hoogerbrugge Milk & Cookies Mumbleboy Onion Rathergood XE [ RERUNS ] [ 2005 ] JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST [ 2004 ] MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER [ 2002 ] [ 2003 ]	Wednesday, January 19, 2005 Health & Welfare I've never bumped into a blogger at the gym before, but that changed tonight when I saw Adina, who recently joined. She asked when she'd see "results" and we said that results take time. At first, your body and muscles are simply shocked that they're being asked to do anything. During my first year at the gym, I experienced all sorts of adjustment pains (headaches, strained muscles, sore feet, etc) that eventually went away. But stick with it and you'll get results, though the best results are the ones you don't see. So, if any of the rest of you are thinking of getting in shape, please consider this guide to ... How to Stop Being a Lazy Slob Lucky for Adina, she's not as far gone as I was. As the pic on the left demonstrates, I'm not one of those naturally fit people who doesn't know what it's like to lug around extra pounds. That's me the year I joined the gym. Look at that freakin' gut. And a second chin. And hair! Sorry, but as soon as you start working out, you will lose all of your hair. Those fit people you see at the gym with hair? Weaves! The pic on the right was taken five years later at the most recent GTABlogger Xmas party. I'm fifty pounds lighter than in the pic on the left. Unfortunately, twenty pounds of that was my soul. Here are the guidelines I followed to achieve my goals: 1. Stop eating so much goddamn cheese. 2. Try everything. When I joined the gym, I tried a whole bunch of things to get a sense of what worked for me and I still try new things from time to time, just to shake it up. Last fall I started spinning twice a week. Then someone told me that was also the name of the class where you ride the stationary bikes, so I started doing that instead. Ba-DUM! You also need to realize that nothing is as difficult or as complicated as it looks. What may look intimidating won't seem that way after you've been doing it for two months. And everything can be done at your own pace. Fortunately, at our gym intimidation isn't much of a problem because most people there are pierced & tatooed schleppy schlobs. 3. Classes The fact of the matter is: I am an extremely unmotivated, lazy slob when it comes to working out. Stick me on a treadmill on my own and I'll barely last twenty minutes. So I do classes. The only way I can stay focused and motivated for a full hour is to take a class and have some instructor barking at me. And it helps having someone set the level of intensity for you. I also enjoy seeing the regular characters in class and making up nicknames for them. One of my greatest disappointments in life is learning someone's real name ... 4. No cheese! 5. Inspiration One reason to take classes is so you can see people who are in better shape than you and let them inspire you. You also feed off of the energy of the other people in class and get a better workout. And if you're really lucky, you might land a fitness class crush or two. 6. Embrace tragedy After my last relationship ended, I dealt with it by going to the gym. You'll see even more results if you break up with someone who likes to eat a lot of cheese. Spite, anger and work stress are all things you can harness to improve your workout! 7. Fun it up Some people think that working out is all about pain and misery. If you're not enjoying it, you're not doing what's right for you and should try something else. What's the freakin' point if you're not having fun? Fun it up! Hope that helps. 11:39 PM , # , \|