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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Settling In
Alice and Quon'dar moved their stuff in this afternoon. After they finished, Quon'dar went out to find cigarettes and Alice and I had some food.
ALICE: What did you do last night?
BLAMB: I went to a movie. Erica was there but I didn't feel like talking to her or sitting with her, so I sat a few rows back and I don't think she saw me. I bump into her all the time. Talking to her takes work. She's beautiful, looks like Madeline Stowe, but she's really introverted and socially awkward.
ALICE: Did you say 'hi' afterwards?
BLAMB: No, I split right when the end credits rolled. Hey, it's funny ... she and Ed used to be a couple.
ALICE: So?
BLAMB: Well, I bumped into Sara the day before, and Sara and Ed were also a couple ... at a different time and in a different city. Now Erica and Sara lives within a few blocks of one another ... and I bet they pass on the street, unaware of their connection.
ALICE: And you think that means something.
BLAMB: Don't you?
ALICE: No. Not really.
 BLAMB: You don't think tracking these little coincidences and connections, like the Samantha Bee thing, gives you a sense of the bigger picture? A glimpse at some larger pattern?
ALICE: Samantha Bee?
BLAMB: Don't you read my blog?
ALICE: I told you, I just skim it and look at the pictures. I don't care about this nonsense you're always rambling on about.
BLAMB: NONSENSE?
ALICE: Listen, guy, I appreciate you as much as anybody, but I really don't care about most of your crap. For example, what the hell are you listening to?
BLAMB: It's Hall & Oates. It's a song called Man on a Mission.
ALICE: It's terrible.
BLAMB: I know! Slow it down to 70% normal speed and it's even better! I found some songs they did after they were famous and they're all really bad. It's the same thrill you get when you find bad, post-peak Atari 2600 games at yard sales.
ALICE: Uh huh ...
BLAMB: Let's listen to it again! You should hear some of Darryl Hall's mid-90s solo stuff!
ALICE: I just told you that I'm not ...
BLAMB: Hey, don't book anything for Monday nights, you and Quon'dar are watching Bachelorette with me. Merv reminded me that the premiere was on last night and it was really funny.
ALICE: I don't watch reality tv.
Quon'dar returned with his cigarettes.
BLAMB: Hey, Quon'dar. We're watching Bachelorette on Mondays. The previews look great, there's going to be a lot of crying and there's a 28-yr-old virgin dude!
QUON'DAR: On my planet, if you haven't mated by the time you're of age, your family is allowed to eat you to reclaim your voogoo energy. [makes a fist] But not the feet.
BLAMB: Voogoo?
QUON'DAR: I am interested in discovering some of the nuances of your species' mating rituals. I agree to the watching of the presentation you've described.
BLAMB: HA! See, Alice? Well, this will be good study for you. It's a very scientifical documentation of typical human mating rituals and habits.
ALICE: It is not!
BLAMB: It'll be a good primer for Quon'dar. It's like studying film, you always start with the horror genre because that's where the conventions are the most obvious.
QUON'DAR: Honestly, to me, this whole planet is horror.
4:07 PM
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