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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Nice Not Nice
 Wellington & Peter
I had lunch with Mariela.
BLAMB: March came in like a lion.
MARIELA: A soggy, wet lion.
BLAMB: The province banned pitbulls today.
MARIELA: Is Zack included?
BLAMB: No. Zack is not included.
 MARIELA: [mocking] That's nice. Did you and the other idiots watch your dating show last night?
BLAMB: The Bachelorette? Yeah, it was our last tv night. What a waste of time. She didn't even get engaged. What's the point? But it was nice having everyone together to watch it as a group again.
MARIELA: How are Alice and Quon'dar? Still together?
BLAMB: They seem ok. They haven't been fighting like before. I really think they've worked out their crap.
MARIELA: Arrrggg! How many times have you said THAT?
BLAMB: I know, I know! I'm not the best at reading couples. Oh, Mr. Loaf is getting on my nerves.
 MARIELA: Really?
BLAMB: I know he's a 70s rock icon and all that, but he's just so damn nice. I can't stand it.
MARIELA: What's wrong with that? I like nice people, I always feel sorry for them!
BLAMB: Nice people do far more damage, unintentionally through their niceness, than people who aren't so nice.
MARIELA: Get out, they do not!
BLAMB: It's true. Nice people are the greatest cause of pain and suffering in the world today. Their waffling and indecision and inability to take a position on anything creates all kinds of problems.
MARIELA: I don't think I agree with your definition of "nice". What's nice? What does Meat Loaf do that's nice?
BLAMB: When Raymi wrote those responses to that advice column, Mr. Loaf was really offended. He was too nice to appreciate her humour. He couldn't get past the harshness.
 MARIELA: But maybe he's not nice. Maybe he didn't like her advice because he's a jerk and her common sense hit too close to home. It made him feel like the jerk he is instead of the "nice guy" he thinks he is.
BLAMB: I dunno, when we watch This is Wonderland, he sings along with the crappy new theme song and it makes him weepy.
MARIELA: That makes him a sap, it doesn't make him nice.
BLAMB: Ok, here's something he did. Mr. Loaf was seeing this girl and they were dating and he lost interest. But, instead of dumping her, he just went along and made the relationship difficult so she would dump him. Which she eventually did. That's what nice people do. Sensible, not-so-nice people make a decision and communicate it.
 MARIELA: Again, that doesn't make him a nice guy, it makes him a jerk. Nice people are clear about things.
BLAMB: No they're not.
MARIELA: Sure they are.
BLAMB: They're not!
MARIELA: They are!
BLAMB: Ok, look ... one night, for fun, I had Alice and Mr. Loaf take the Myers-Briggs test.
MARIELA: Ok, what were they?
BLAMB: Mr. Loaf was INFP. Alice was ISTJ.
MARIELA: So?
 BLAMB: So, one of the questions is, "Which would you choose: justice or mercy?" Mr. Loaf picked mercy, Alice chose justice. That's what nice people do, they just up and grab mercy without considering the consequences. If you have justice, you don't need mercy!
MARIELA: Again, that doesn't proove that he's a nice guy. He could be walking around all day wanting to punch people in the face, but chooses not to out of mercy. Inside, he still wants to punch people.
BLAMB: Nice or not, he's driving me nuts.
MARIELA: It's 'cause he's a jerk!
BLAMB: You know what he did? You know what he DID?
MARIELA: What?
BLAMB: He wrote these lyrics in a song called Everything Louder Than Everything Else:
I know that I will never be politically correct
And I don't give a damn about my lack of ettiquette
MARIELA: That doesn't really rhyme.
BLAMB: But then, in another song he changes 'sex, drugs & rock 'n roll' to 'sex, DRUMS & rock 'n roll. By doing that, he's being politically correct even though he said he will never be politcally correct! He's a hypocrite!
MARIELA: See? He's not a nice guy at all.
1:22 AM
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