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Monday, September 12, 2005
I Watched C-beams Glitter in the Dark Near Plaza Sesamo
King Street East
 I met Maria for brunch at petit dejeuner (191 King E) on Saturday. It was a clear, cool September afternoon ...
BLAMB: You're in a desert, walking along when ...
MARIA: What desert?
BLAMB: Sorry ... Yeah, I was really into Sesame Street when I was a kid.
MARIA: In Mexico it's called Plaza Sesamo. There are Spanish muppets, too. There's a big bird but he's not called Big Bird.
BLAMB: He looks better than Big Bird. Better plumage. Good eyes.
MARIA: Yeah.
BLAMB: When you were on Mexican Sesame Street, did it feel like you were living in some sort of futuristic dystopia?
 MARIA: What are you talking about? I was three years old.
BLAMB: Sesame Street predicts a future similar to Blade Runner. It's an urban multicultural mashup with people living together with androids or genetically engineered creatures.
MARIA: Androids?
BLAMB: The muppets!
MARIA: They're just freakin' puppets, dude.
 BLAMB: But Sesame Street is more likely future than the version Blade Runner presents. Right now, lifelike protoype robots look creepy. As robots become popular, their appearance will probably be more muppet than human. Same with genetic engineering; if the Nexus 6 had muppet appearances, you wouldn't need a Voight-Kampf test.
MARIA: Uh huh.
BLAMB: Jim Henson was way ahead, the name "muppet" is the amalgamation of the words 'mutant' and 'puppet'.
MARIA: Right.
 BLAMB: Sesame Street also has a more realistic depiction of the psychological problems such creatures might face. In Blade Runner, the replicants cling to their implanted memories. On Sesame Street, the muppets become obsessive-compulsive as though their operating systems are degrading with use. Their heuristic algorythms get mungled, causing them to become singularly obessesed: The Count is obsessed with counting, Bert is obsessed with pigeons, Oscar is obssessed with trash, the Cookie Monster with cookies ...
MARIA: All they gotta do is reinstall the OS.
BLAMB: But then they wipe the system's memory. These creatures probably learn from experience and a reinstall would demand too much relearning to make it worthwhile. Even when you reinstall Windows, you have to back-up and reinstall all your software. That can be a big job.
 MARIA: Ok, ok, ok. But say people wanted androids to have sex with. You wouldn't make those look like muppets.
BLAMB: Maybe muppets with accentuated erotic features.
MARIA: No way! Unless you were some kind of furry, you'd want to have sex with a robot human!
BLAMB: I dunno, just look at all the hentai human-creature sex.
MARIA: Come on! I don't want to look into the eyes of some big bird!
BLAMB: If you have human-looking, genetically engineered replicants ... you might end up accidentally sleeping with a replicant you thought was human. Or a human pretending to be a replicant!
MARIA: Well then I would grab that bastard and choke him and twist his ...
  
MARIA: And then I'd ...
 BLAMB: That's a bit harsh.
MARIA: I just want my android sex slave to be a normal guy.
BLAMB: It's a moot point. At that level of technological advancement, people will have so many physical enhancements done, you won't be able to tell who's human and who's replicant. It'll be one big muppet orgy.
MARIA: So it really won't be like Sesame Street at all. It'll be more like The Muppet Show.
BLAMB: Yeah. And everyone will be gettin' it on with the genetically engineered Harvey Korman.
1:15 AM
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