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Monday, October 17, 2005
Coffee Guy Memories
Dufferin Mall
When Matt the Coffee Guy isn't acting in a play, he comes back and picks up a few shifts at the Duff.
 COFFEE GUY: Fall is here. It's getting colder.
BLAMB: This is the time of year when I really appreciate hot coffee.
COFFEE GUY: Hey, remember the time your friend was kicked out of the mall?
BLAMB: Uh, no.
COFFEE GUY: Yeah, you were here in your morning stupor when things went down ...
A Visit with Patrick Swayze (the sandwich)
originally posted
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
PATRICK: Hey man, wake up!
BLAMB: [snore]
PATRICK: WAKE UP!
BLAMB: Huh, wha? Paige Davis?
PATRICK: The day has begun! It's time to get moving!
 BLAMB: Moving ...
PATRICK: You know what you need?
BLAMB: Need ...
PATRICK: A trip to The Coffee Guys!
BLAMB: Coffee ...
PATRICK: Let's go!
We walk to the mall. Most of the snow has melted. It's comfortably cool.
 PATRICK: Hey, Coffee Guy #1! How's it going?
COFFEE GUY #1: Great! Good to see you, ol' buddy.
PATRICK: Brett is a grumpy doughboy in the morning; set him up with a big cup 'o joe!
COFFEE GUY #1: No problem! One for yourself?
PATRICK: Oh yeah! Hey, where's you good friend? Coffee Guy #2?
COFFEE GUY #1: Shawn? He's right over there. Hey, Shawn, looks who's here! It's Patrick!
 COFFEE GUY #2: Hey, hey.
PATRICK: How are you doing?
COFFEE GUY #2: Want to see my Brando impression?
COFFEE GUY #1: You can't do Brando!
COFFEE GUY #2: What? See Patrick, this guy thinks Brando is all in the voice...
COFFEE GUY #1: ... and someday, I will come to you and ask for a favour ....
COFFEE GUY #2: See? It's not just the voice, it's the whole ...
SECURITY MAN: HEY! WE DON'T SERVE YOUR KIND IN HERE!!!
BLAMB: Wha? Huh? I'm sorry, I'll leave.
SECURITY MAN: Not you. Your sandwich.
PATRICK: Me?
SECURITY MAN: NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINKS.
COFFEE GUYS: That's crazy! What kind of rule is that?
SECURITY MAN: NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR ....
PATRICK: But don't you recognize me? I'm Patrick Swayze, the Tahini & Banana Sandwich! The happiest, flippinest, grooviest, coolest ...
SECURITY MAN: No outside food or drinks. NOW GET OUT!
COFFEE GUYS: Can't you make an exception?
SECURITY MAN: NO EXCEPTIONS!
COFFEE GUYS: Why not?
SECURITY MAN: Because ... because my heart is cold and empty.
PATRICK: Really?
SECURITY MAN: I have no soul.
PATRICK: Aw, everybody has a soul! Even you!
SECURITY MAN: I do?
PATRICK: Sure thing, buddy! Here, have a taste!
SECURITY MAN: I couldn't ...
PATRICK: Go ahead, friend!
SECURITY MAN: Well.... [chomp] ... oh my ...
PATRICK: How do you feel?
SECURITY MAN: It's like the fluffy clouds of Heaven have come to Earth and decided to reside in my mouth. I feel ... young.
PATRICK: Great!
SECURITY MAN: That's it! Patrick Swayze, I hereby make you an honourary security deputy of the mall!
COFFEE GUYS: YAY!!!
SECURITY MAN: Thank you, Patrick! And thank you, Coffee Guys!
BLAMB: ZzzzzzzZZzzzzzzz ....
1:24 PM
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