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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Vulgar
Yorkville
 People were gathered for Maria's birthday ...
MARIA: In Mexico, this is a vulgar gesture.
BLAMB: It looks like you're crying.
MARIA: When I do this? It's vulgar. Don't put it on your blog.
BLAMB: Okay ...
MARIA: Did you fill out your trivia sheet?
BLAMB: What's NTN? Nary Tyler Noore?
JAMIE: I think it's an AC/DC song.
MARIA: You're thinking of TNT.
 BLAMB: Tary Nyler Toore?
CLARA: NTN are gambling trivia games you play in bars.
BLAMB: Didn't Ultravox do a song called, If I Was a Gambler?
RANNIE: Kenny Rogers.
MARIA: Kenny Rogers wasn't in Ultravox!
RANNIE: He sang the song about The Gamber.
 BLAMB: Instead of those crazy gambling addiction ads, they should just have signs saying, "You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away and when to run."
MARIA: I'll bet you five dollars they wouldn't work.
RANNIE: I'll raise you ten.
BLAMB: Fifty!
RANNIE: Two hundred!
MARIA: I will give you a thousand dollars if you chug this bottle of ketchup.
 JOEY & WENDY: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
BLAMB: Oh yeah? I will give you two thousand dollars if you break into fatman's apartment and steal one of his thong balcony bikinis!
MARIA: I will give you five thousand dollars if you join Scientology and work for years to get to the top level and find out all about the aliens and crap, become friends with Tom Cruise and have an affair with Katie Holmes.
BLAMB: I'm not single.
MARIA: TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!
 BLAMB: NO!
MARIA: FIFTY-EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS!
BLAMB: DEAL!
We shooks hands.
Eight years later:
BLAMB: Ha ha! Now I'm a Scientology bigwig and I'm married to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise is a washed-up homeless dude. Ask me about Xenu, go ahead.
MARIA: Tell me about Xenu.
BLAMB: NO! It's a secret! Ha ha ha ha!
MARIA: Idiot ...
BLAMB: Ok, pay up. You owe me fifty-eight thousand dollars.
MARIA: I can't. I went to gambling counselling and got cured.
BLAMB: What?
MARIA: I don't do that anymore.
BLAMB: Great Gary Gyler Goore! I'm ruined!
12:10 PM
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