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Monday, December 26, 2005
Sci-fi Geekout Holiday Spectacular
We just watched the end of Jumanji. Jumanji ... what the hell was that? If you're going to watch a Baby Boomer midlife crisis movie, take Saving Private Ryan, PLEASE! But Jumanji reminds me that a sci-fi geekout is long overdue. And Robin Williams reminds me that Tom Hanks has a new flick coming up ...
Right now I'm on the couch with Merv's laptop watching Baldrick talk about 'the real da Vinci Code' on the tube. They expect us to believe Baldrick? There's a new trailer for Opie's movie version of Dan Brown's page-turner in which Tom Hanks goes to Paris and learns that Mary Magdeleine wasn't a 'ho. Oops, spoiler.
A new season of Doctor Who starts tonight on the CBC. In the first episode, aliens declare war on Xmas and Bill O'Reilly stops them. Ha ha, I made that up. They have FauxNews on the satellite now and I watched a full episode of O'Reilly for the first time this weekend ... wow, what an incredible, fatuous gasbag. I had no idea. I really has NO idea. The man is an annoying, whining idiot.
Also starting the first week of January is the next batch of Battlestar Galactica episodes (named the #1 show on tv by TIME magazine). I enjoyed the first season but found the second season a bit wearing. They spend a whack of episodes with the fleet divided and then, just as they get back together they bump into the Battlestar Pegasus and we're thrown right back into another 'humans divided' storyline. It's like the first season of Lost when they split and one group stays on the beach; after a big disaster, would a wee group of survivors be so quick to split up?
Anyhow, there are BSG season 2 spoilers here.
Smallville is back to normal this season after a dismal fourth season. The show is watchable because it contains equal portions of great stuff and utter rubbish. The equation became unbalanced during the uniformly mediocre fourth season. The new season reverted to form, featuring some excellent Luthor moments offset by some of the worst episodes of network television -- the Hallowe'en vampire episode and the Aquaman episode -- since Spock's Brain.
Brando narrates the Superman Returns teaser trailer. Did his digital recreation lose digital weight before digitally recreating the role of Jor-El? And Nimoy narrates Civ IV ... but doesn't sing. It would have been even better if a digital Nimoy had played one of the world leaders. And Shatner, Shatner could have played Caesar and maybe rapped or something.
Re-review!
I rented Revenge of the Sith on the weekend for a second viewing. It's a movie best seen in the theatre, because it doesn't hold up on video. I stand by my original review except the performances seemed even worse on second viewing. Natalie Portman is now seriously challenging Gwenyth Paltrow for the Most Irritating Acting Personality in the Galaxy title. And yes, compared to the other prequels it is certainly the best, but compared to most movies, it's a piece of junk. Hell, Mothman Prophecies is easier to sit through ... and it's terrible! When in doubt, cast Laura Linney.
And now, here's a summary list:
Biggest Disappointment: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Worst Acting: Natalie Portman
Best Misguided Flop: Serenity
What? They made a sequel to that?: Underworld II
Ben Sisko Worst Star Trek Captain Award: Jonathon Archer
Best Danish Sci-fi Parody: Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning
Best Attempt to Revive a Flop on DVD: The Island
Most Annoying Thing to Uninstal from Your Computer: that crappy Valve online thing that came with Halflife II
Biggest Potential for Making Your Brain Explode: Star Wars tv series
Biggest Loser: Enterprise, the first Star Trek series to get cancelled in three decades.
Most Imaginative Sci-fi Character: Tom Cruise
12:25 AM
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