Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Sharky's Movie Experience

1 - The Screening

Yorkville

Sharky arrived at the Cumberland Cinemas for the Rhinoceros Eyes screening only to find he wasn't on the list ...

SHARKY: Whaddya mean I'm not on the list?

MICOL: You're not on the list.

SUZANNE: Did you RSVP?

SHARKY: RSVP???

SUZANNE: You were supposed to RSVP.

SHARKY: Do you know who I am? Do you freakin' KNOW WHO I AM?

SUZANNE: Yeah, I do. You're that drunk shark.

SHARKY: Come on. I'm just here 'cause my good friend Mr. Blamb sent me an invite. I'm doin' him a favour, y'know?

SUZANNE: [ groans ] Fine. But no trouble, got it?

SHARKY: I'm a lover, not a fighter, baby.

Sharky walked down to the lower auditorium. He spotted Eva.

SHARKY: Hey, you here alone?

EVA: No, there's a group of us.

SHARKY: Maybe you and I should take off for a bit, eh?

EVA: You're drunk.

SHARKY: Fine. Be that way.

ELDON: Sharky's here! I guess it's a party!

SHARKY: Show me two coconuts, a pair of nylons and a bottle of gin and I'll show you a party. Hey, Jen's here!

JEN: Hi Sharky.

SHARKY: You brought your cow! Hi, little moo-cow! Coochie-coo! Can you say 'hi'?

JEN: It's not a cow, it's a giraffe.

SHARKY: Goats, cows, giraffes ... you freakin milk 'em the same way, no?

KEVIN: Sharky, smile! [ snap ]

SHARKY: Look at the size of that mother-freakin' camera! Hand it over. Let me take some pics.

Karen and Mike were in the line of sight.

SHARKY: Smile! I'm the freakin' paparazzi!

KAREN: It's that damn shark again.

MIKE: He's at every event. I can't stand that guy.

KAREN: Just smile and hope he goes away.

SHARKY: OK! Who else wants their picture taken? I'm taking the pictures, now. Look at me, I'm photoblogging ... yyyaaaaaaahhhh!

MIKE: What an idiot.

SHARKY: Hey, Jamie! Smile, ya whore!

JAMIE: Did you just call me a 'whore'?

SHARKY: Don't be such a sensitive man-whore.

JAMIE: You couldn't afford my rates ...

Sharky spotted Maria.

SHARKY: Hey babe, how's it hanging?

MARIA: Sharky!

SHARKY: You and I could get together after the show. You know, spend some time.

MARIA: Oh, Sharky ... I love spending time with you.

SHARKY: Go back to my place ...

MARIA: Hot tub ...

SHARKY: Candles ...

Maria shoves him away.

MARIA: HA! You don't think I read the internet? I know all about you and Lily Smitson!

SHARKY: What? We're just friends!

MARIA: She said she loves you.

SHARKY: Like a friendly sort of love.

WHACK! Maria punches him.

MARIA: I have had enough of YOU! You treat people like crap.

SHARKY: Ow!

MARIA: You're stinkin' drunk. Sit down and watch the movie and don't bother anybody.

Sharky sat and sulked.

ALL: YAY!

The Movie Experience continues Monday:
Meet the director! Meet Tor! Meet the H5N1 virus!

8:57 PM , # ,