Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Shark Jump '06 Continues ...

EVA wrote a post:

After I quit my blog, I delved right into online social networking. I signed up for Myspace and added musicians I've met and/or love and some people I know (and the mayor). I signed up for Hyves.net and talked to people from Holland I haven't talked to in ten years. One girl, who I hadn't seen since we were in grade 5 and 6, is now teaching grade 5 and 6 at our old school. That's hilarious! I wouldn't have found this out through my blog!

Finally I overcame my many qualms and signed up for Lavalife. I hate that site! I am not like that! I am not pathetic! Actually I tried to sign up a few years ago, but my profile was rejected beause I was too cynical. What the hell, I was just being ME!! How can I be myself if I'm not allowed to be myself, huh? Explain that to me, Lavalife. I also think it's unrealistic: when do you ever meet people for the first time by pitching a monologue about how awesome you are? Now I'm in a better mood altogether, so I managed to write some positive crap about me.

I was still convinced that people on Lavalife are a bunch of sad losers and creepy guys, but on my first click I recognized one of the people in the profiles! Someone not creepy and not a sad loser! In the next few days I recognized some other non-losers. Maybe this isn't so bad. And I don't have to freaking MARRY these people, it's just a website.

Some people ARE scary, though. And weird... There are a LOT of men on Lavalife who are wearing a fancy suit or tux in their profile pic. To be more precise: their profile pic is a cropped photo from when they were the best man at a wedding or maybe it's at a prom, and the other people are cut out of the pic. What's up with that?? That's REALLY WEIRD, okay? I imagine these people out in the real world, at Second Cup or maybe in the supermarket, wearing their tuxedo with boutonniere and having a friend constantly slightly out of view right behind them. Do you always look like that???

I make fun of these people so I can tell myself that I'm only on Lavalife for life experience: Later I will say: "Back in oh-six, everyone was networking online, and even finding dates, and these guys had the weirdest profiles. Haha, those were the days!" Because in 2036 this will all be outdated, and now I can at least say I've been there...

And now, my comment:

Because of gay marriage, in 2036 we will all be married to animals. I'm planning on being wed to a creature that is a genetic mix of turtle and goat. Lavalife will have to expand its categories to include animal husbandry ... but remember, you don't have to MARRY those animals! You can have one of your clone avatars do it.

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