Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog

Thursday, January 24, 2008

This Time It's 39

Three more pics this year:

We're having a party here on Sat night ... email me for the details.

And now, a look back at the past year:

What a crazy year. They started stocking crunchy -- CRUNCHY! -- almond butter at the No Frills. Who woulda' thunk it? Also, my toenail fell off. Dead Robot won the toenail in the Official Toenail Contest but declined the prize. Maybe I will try to sell it on eBay. What else? Oh yeah ... Britney, Britney, Britney. What can't that girl not do?

And now, a look ahead to the coming year:

Do you realize how bad this recession is going to be? Remember the early 90s? Nobody's even going to remember who Britney Spears was in a year or two. Do you think people will start dressing like lumberjacks again?

Ok, here's my big recession culture prediction: goatees won't come back into style.

You think I'm crazy? Ok, let's sort it out. Back in the early 90s when the grunge scene hit, every guy on the planet grew a goatee. A few lucky fellas already had goatees and were able to say, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." The rest, the guys who jumped on the bandwagon, had to listen to that for half a decade. And it drove them insane.

Some of those guys continued wearing goatees long after they fell out of fashion. You see them everywhere. Even after the guys who had the original claim to the goatee had shed theirs, these other guys hung on. The bandwagoneers did this partly because of a misplaced affection for a really crappy decade, but mainly because they wanted to be the ones saying, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." the next time goatees came back into fashion.

But fashion is as cruel as it is shallow and no doubt senses the intentions of these guys and has planned to skip goatees this go-round to spite their lust to be part of the vanguard. Goatees will come back into style ... in 2021! None of the guys hoarding their hair will be young enough to be able to say, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." They'll be too old for it to matter.

So what will be the neo-grunge hairstyle for the coming time of economic misery?

That's easy: MUTTONCHOPS!

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