Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The End

Bairrada Churrasqueira, College Street

It was shortly before Eva left the country and we moved out of the apartment ...

BLAMB: See this shirt? This shirt I'm wearing right now?

MARIA: It's a fukkin' grey shirt.

BLAMB: I used to have pyjamas just like this shirt. Damn I miss those pyjamas. But that was ten years ago ...

MARIA: What? You're mourning your fukkin' pyjamas? You're mourning your pyjamas ten years later? Did you have a pyjama funeral for them when they died?

BLAMB: They were great pjs ...

MARIA: Did they get buried or cremated? Maybe you should have a seance to get back in touch with them.

EVA: Amber should buy you some new pyjamas.

AMBER: I did. He keeps repeating this story about those grey pyjamas.

MARIA: What if you went back in time and found those pyjamas again and realized that you hate them?

JENN: Maybe it's not the pyjamas you miss. Maybe you miss that time of your life.

BLAMB: Nope, its the pyjamas.

MARIA: They have a fukkin' internet now and you can go online and find any pyjamas you want. I bet you could find places that tailor pyjamas for you. Don't get hung up on a fukkin' cheap pair of pyjamas you bought at The Bay when you still had hair.

EVA: Pre 9/11 pyjamas?

BLAMB: I was wearing them on 9/11.

JENN: Everyone remembers what they were wearing on 9/11.

BLAMB: That's right, grey pyjamas.

MARIA: You know what would suck?

ALL: What?

MARIA: Being naked on 9/11.

EVA: Here. Find some new pyjamas.

BLAMB: Is this an ipod or an iphone?

EVA: What do you think?

BLAMB: I think it's a generic "i"-branded device.

MARIA: Remember when computers used to be gigantic, man?

BLAMB: You know, my favourite computer, from way back in the 80s was the size of a ...

EVA: A suitcase?

MARIA: A barn?

BLAMB: Well, it was a C64, so it was the size of a keyboard.

JENN: Funny, people used to write sentimental songs about old movies but they don't write them about old computers.

BLAMB: Call Ian Thomas.

MARIA: Or Vangelis.

EVA: Who the hell is Ian Thomas?

BLAMB: Ian Thomas is a famous singer. How could you not know who Ian Thomas is. I think he's also Heather Thomas' brother.

AMBER: Hey, something's wrong.

BLAMB: What time is it? We have to get home in time for 'The Fall Guy'.

MARIA: He's in some kind of daze.

BLAMB: Duuuuhhhh ...

EVA: Wait a minute ... Brett, what year is it?

BLAMB: It's 1982!

EVA: He accidentally activated the hypnotism app on the i-device. He thinks he's gone back into the past!

MARIA: But he's gone too far!

BLAMB: Did you guys watch 'Real People' this week?

JENN: Who cares ... ask him about his pyjamas!

AMBER: Brett, you've gone too far. You were only supposed to go back to 2001.

MARIA: What kind of pyjamas are there with you?

BLAMB: Oh no .. oh no ... the pyjamas here are terrible!

EVA: Leave the 80s ... come forward in time!

MARIA: Yeah, but don't go to like ... the year 3000 or something like that.

JENN: Brett?

EVA: Are you there?

BLAMB: I'm in the year 3000. I'm a guest at the Ryugyong Hotel. I think someone just set off an atomic bomb ...

MARIA: Ok, whatever. What about the fukking pyjamas? How are those?

BLAMB: Well ....

Everyone leans forward.

BLAMB: They're perfect!

10:15 PM , # , |

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