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Monday, October 18, 2004
The Incredible Kenny Rogers Threat
I had Stan the Computer Geek come in and asses the blog infestation situation.
STAN: Looks like you've got a Kenny Rogers. Big one.
BLAMB: No kidding.
STAN: Gosh, he's huge. About 180 kilometres from head to toe. And, he doesn't completely exist in our dimension. That complicates things.
BLAMB: Crud. How did it get into my blog?
STAN: You had a previous infestation, right?
BLAMB: Yeah, last month. A big nest of Phil Collins. I had a Jedi Knight clear them out using The Peter Gabriel Neutron Bomb.
STAN: Wow. A real Jedi?
BLAMB: No, just some idiot. So what caused this?
STAN: The Neutron Bomb must have weakened your blog and made it susceptible to further infection. That's probably how Kenny Rogers got in.
BLAMB: Is it easy to fix?
STAN: Nope. This one is a real toughie. But, Kenny Rogers is generally benign. You can leave him there and he won't hurt your blog. I'll apply some anti-Kim Carnes software and you'll be fine.
BLAMB: No, I don't want to leave him! I want to clean him out!
STAN: You might be better off starting a new blog from scratch.
BLAMB: No, I want this fixed. What's involved?
STAN: Okay, you need to get a specially modified submarine and assemble a team of specialists. Once you get that set up, you enter the Kenny Rogers in the sub, travel through his body to his brain and there you should be able to figure out a way to stimulate some sort of action that will cause him to leave.
BLAMB: That last bit was a little vague.
STAN: [shrugs] I'm not really sure what you'd do at the brain. But that's why you bring along a crack team of specialists!
BLAMB: It sounds expensive.
STAN: Well, yeah. That's why I said to just leave the big lug.
BLAMB: No, I'm not having Kenny Rogers hanging around on the blog. It's him or me. Can you help me hire the team and rent the sub?
STAN: Sure, I can do that.
BLAMB: Good, 'cause we're going in.
3:42 AM
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