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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Nature's X-treme Wonder Presents ...
Brad Pitt the Lion was preparing for his role in a new movie about husband and wife assassins who are hired to wipe each other out.
 ANGELINA JOLIE THE BEAR: Hello, Mr. Pitt.
BRAD PITT THE LION: [ growls ] What do you want, Jolie?
ANGELINA: Just dropping in, seeing how you're doing, ol' chap. What's with the computer?
BRAD: None of your business. I'm working on a new project involving high tech. I'm working on this computer to help me get into the role.
ANGELINA: Would it be a film about high tech assassins by any chance?
BRAD: WHAT? Huh! Uh ... no ... uh ... shit, how did you guess?
ANGELINA: I'm not psychic, if that's what you're thinking. I have been cast as your lovely wife.
BRAD: YOU? What happened to Nicole Richie?
ANGELINA: Paris Hilton the Salamander had her blacklisted. Nobody's taking her calls.
BRAD: Damn! We had chemistry.
 ANGELINA: Right, the intense attraction between a stick insect and an ape ... by the way, how's the spouse? Why isn't she playing this part? I heard she was shopping around for a project for you to work on together.
BRAD: This isn't it.
ANGELINA: For the best, really. She doesn't have a face for the movies. It's kind of mannish -- fine for tv, but film demands a more classic look.
BRAD: She's not a man.
ANGELINA: Come on, chap, you have to admit that she leverages feminine hair against her rather masculine face.
BRAD: Well ... uh, you have a man body!
ANGELINA: Bradley, darling, I'm not insulting your wife. I'm simply pointing out her talent, which is as a television situation comedy actor. Don't you think she's best in that role? Don't you think that's the world she belongs in?
BRAD: Well, maybe ...
ANGELINA: I get paid the big bucks to appear in movies. That's what I do, that's what you do. That's our world. Jenn is part of a different world -- not any better or any worse -- just different.
BRAD: Television is different.
ANGELINA: Jenn is very good at what she does, correct?
BRAD: Yeah.
 ANGELINA: Well my method-acting friend, if you're preparing for this movie and we're going to be playing husband and wife, we should probably fuck.
BRAD: Huh?
Jolie started walking towards her trailer. She turned her head around and looked back.
ANGELINA: Coming, sailor?
BRAD: CTRL+ALT+DEL!
Previously:
1 - Brad & Jenn
2 - The Pitch
2:00 PM
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