Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog



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The movies of that master storyteller, George Lucas. La Defense And that's where I spotted him, the monk from Notre Dame. BLAMB: I just wanted to thank you again for helping us out the other ... I stopped. Beneath the hood was a face I didn't expect. BLAMB: George Lucas? LUCAS: Yeah. BLAMB: Gadzooks! You're the caretaker of the Ark! That's why all that crap is in your movies. You're one of the Jedis ... er, Knights Templar. Lucas just stood there silently. BLAMB: I still don't get it. What is the Ark? Why does everybody want it? LUCAS: During World War II, Montana Franks worked on the Manahattan Project. His job was excavating historical blast sights, like Tunguska in Siberia, where he visited in 1937. BLAMB: I see. He was gathering blast data so the scientists could study the effects and estimate the potential of the atomic weapons they were developing. LUCAS: He was. BLAMB: Hold on .... there's more, isn't there? He was also working with Glume ... LUCAS: He worked closely with the Doctor. BLAMB: And they were exploring time travel ... LUCAS: You've got it. BLAMB: That's it! Glume built a time machine. The Philadelphia Experiment was a success! LUCAS: Not a complete success. The results were unpredictable and dangerous. However machines ... including weapons ... could be safely sent through time. BLAMB: The atomic bomb researchers were sending their weapons back in time to test them! That was the only way to keep the tests secret from both the Nazis and the Soviets. They would send a bomb into the distant past where it was detonated and then Montana Franks would find the test sites and excavate them to get the results. That's why there are so many cases of mutants showing up throughout history! Wait ... how does this connect to the Ark of the Covenant LUCAS: In 1953, there was a massive accident at a nuclear testing range and the time machine appeared to be destroyed. BLAMB: But it wasn't, was it? That's what the Ark is, it's Dr. Glume's time machine! It was sent back in time by the blast. Now everybody wants it so they can benefit from time travel! LUCAS: The events depicted in Raiders of the Lost Ark actually happened ... roughly. Montana Franks did retrieve the Ark from the Nazis and when he discovered that it was the same time machine Doctor Glume had invented, he hid it here in Paris and vowed to keep it from ever falling into the wrong hands. BLAMB: And he passed that responsibility on to you? LUCAS: That's why the Star Wars prequels were so bad, I have so many other things to worry about. BLAMB: Then why didn't you hire another writer, dumbass? LUCAS: Anyways ... here in Paris it shall remain. I am the only one who knows its location. BLAMB: Oh come on, it's right there under that giant bronze thumb. Lucas gasped. BLAMB: Don't worry, I ain't telling. LUCAS: But how did you know? BLAMB: I just seems like the sort of cheap comical gesture you'd make. And so the time machine sits tucked away, safe from all those who would use it for no good. 3:42 AM , # , \|