Blamblog - Brett Lamb's Blog

Friday, January 20, 2006

Love in a Time of Multinational Media Consolidation

Queen Street West

I was walking home ...

SHARKY: Hey, man!

BLAMB: Hi, Mr. McFinn. Were you at the Drake?

SHARKY: Yeah. I was at that Sam Bulte fundraiser tryin' to get some backscratch.

BLAMB: You spent $250 on a plate of food?

SHARKY: A paltry tip for access. I've got multinational corporate clients in entertainment, they've got interests and it's my job to promote their interests. But what a freakin' waste of $250.

BLAMB: You didn't get face time?

SHARKY: I talked her ear off. But what does it matter? She's probably getting the boot, no thanks to you freakin' pro-user blog zealots.

BLAMB: Yeah, blame the bloggers.

SHARKY: That's what I'm doing.

BLAMB: What about Bulte? After Gomery, isn't it her responsibility to keep her ethics in check? Wasn't it important to run a squeaky-clean campaign?

SHARKY: Gomery, Gomery, Gomery. You sound like my momma fish.

BLAMB: Well ...

SHARKY: HEY! Hey, look! There's two of my kids!

BLAMB: Kids?

SHARKY: Clients! On the bus shelter! Stu & Colleen! Those two! They crack me up!

BLAMB: Who the hell are Stu & Colleen?

SHARKY: Great kids, so damn funny! Stuart's a cracker. And Colleen ... welll, she keeps him on his toes, she sure does.

BLAMB: Are they siblings? They sort of have the same smile.

SHARKY: I think she looks like that chick on Logan's Run.

BLAMB: Jenny Agutter?

SHARKY: Yeah, her.

BLAMB: That's a stretch.

SHARKY: Whatever, I've never really met 'em. My assistant, Duane, handles them.

BLAMB: You have a new assistant?

SHAKRY: I don't have time for the C-list talent. I was at a dinner with Jennifer Anniston the other night, eh? Nice girl. I was talking with her people ... tried to convince them to drop the whole Vince Vaughn thing.

BLAMB: Drop it?

SHARKY: It's not believable. It's better than Tom & Katie, but still ... no sparkle. Jenn needs to sparkle. Sparkle like a minty diamond.

BLAMB: Huh? Are Stu & Colleen an item, like the Body Break couple?

SHARKY: You said they were brother and sister!

BLAMB: I asked if they were brother and sister.

SHARKY: Well, if they are, it's freakin' INCEST!

BLAMB: But you don't even know if they're a couple!

SHARKY: They have sort of a genetically-incoherent look about them, eh? Like the kid in Deliverance. And she likes country music, right? Fucking inbreds. That's horrifying.

BLAMB: You don't know that.

SHARKY: Look at them and tell me I'm wrong.

BLAMB: You're wrong.

SHARKY: Maybe I am, but bad love is better than no love at all!

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